Entry 71015- The Things I Wanted to Tell You

The things I wanted to tell you

dance fast along in my mind.

Nights I sleep on these thoughts.

The lines and syllables of unspoken sentiments

dissolve into my dreams,

into moments -nearly tangible- I have

in dreams.

They are never like pictures.

The ideas about what could be are

always in motion.

They are blue and green for you

and a spectrum of red shades for me.

They are black smoke and white light

around heavy, swirling bodies of color.

What I wanted to say, it was the wrong time.

My bones shook and I knew the clock cracked.

Still, in my mind I replay a raw reality of conversation.

Breathless, I wait

under the weight of

lost split seconds, looks, now longing.

Out of breath, wet cheeks-

the ones I never showed.

I was used to being sad.

Me around you shocked me.

What I’ve felt and didn’t speak,

echoes a song out of my lungs in the early mornings.

I sing out the joy I knew to the first line of light.

I breathe in the solemn present at the break of dawn.

A new day splits the sky and yes,

I was used to being sad.

Me around you…

Me around you at the break of dawn.

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