Entry 6315: Revival

Stop!

I see you’re bleeding

and it’s getting everywhere,

on everything-

the markings of your loss.

Rest, it’ll slow.

When it does, you’ll be tired.

“Goodness gracious, you ok?” and a sigh from the one who cares, for now.

He asks and you cannot respond.

You step into a desire for the basics: to survive, to stop losing what is important, like blood and breath and vision.

To know what is important- you don’t.

Will you stop, with your wound?

Bend and labor, fingers in the dirt,

pause

to decide what can be planted here, now, kindly as possible on the trail (a good memory)?

The Advice-

It’s hard to make decisions, I know.

Still, we must be strong.

Think of the healing, the wound closing into a scar

like a cracked riverbed that once nourished everyone else’s growing,

much like a dusty burial mound of wanting, always more.

The Admission-

Healing doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, but that you consumed it: revival is the aim.

Still, decisions…they find a way to change the mind.

They shift with hours, alive. More than I am.

Alive when I bleed out, their consequences here for me when I awaken.

Our decisions shouldn’t be made

so others think we’re fine,

think we’re lovely,

think we’re safe.

They should be carved into the path, reminders

so we can live with ourselves. Because we don’t leave our lives like another might.

It’s life or death to truly live.

From my scars to yours,

accept the tourniquet

and wave off the desire to lean into flesh so soft.

Stand firm. Almost too hard.

Protect the runny, broken middle of yourself till it’s fortified to share.

The Conclusion-

Don’t show it for simple desire.

Learn to be with you like the greatest lover, one your future love will respect.

Walk the path when you scab.

Be ugly, ferocious!

And take, for the journey asks you to need and want.

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